So Fridays are now the days that i take my kids to their school. We are doing Classical Conversations. It’s their first year. We love it there! I had special plans for a play date after school (including a skipped nap!!)
The kids were super excited (I mean, school day is their favorite, but combined with play date it’s like going to Disney!!!–which we haven’t done yet.)
Well, turns out, I got an offer on a house I’m helping to sell, with a silly fast turn around time.
(in case you didn’t know, I sell real estate too!). –you know, because I don’t have anything else to do.
I had this feeling something like that would happen. I came “prepared” with my Ipad thinking i could get the work done on location at a playground somewhere around town.
|Yea….. well, that didn’t go according to plan.|
|We get to the park (it wasn’t our first choice because that was still closed down for COVID testing or shots..i don’t know). Instead, it was a park on the side of a busy road that was spread out over creation and basically impossible for two moms to sit together and talk and let kids be kids….let alone safe enough for one of those moms to deal with contractual obligations.|
|I tried. and God Bless the other mama who helped me.|
|My Ipad didn’t work – technology is awesome, when it works. When it doesn’t it’s quite frustrating. 30 minutes of me trying to get one thing to work was for naught. The deadline came and went, and I had no idea where my kids were, nor how to get the paperwork to “work.”I had to call the play date short.. instead of a couple of hours of play time, 30 minutes and I had to get home to get a laptop. The kids were distraught. My boss was calling me saying where’s this, where’s that? the traffic was screaming by. I forgot all things about yogic breath.I became the epic mom failure. instead of an afternoon spent playing, the kids came home (amazingly not as badly upset as I was geared up for, but they may have seen the crazy in my eyes) and they had to take a nap. WHAT?!?! A NAP!?!?! Dude, kids have NO IDEA how lucky they are to get to take a nap.i did get home, get the contract stuff turned in and we are currently negotiating the outcome, but goodness gracious talk about mom guilt times infinity right now.|
I know we are supposed to practice non violence towards others –and ourselves… Ahimsa is a tall order folks… but life just sometimes doesn’t make that easy!!
i’m still working up a strategy to make it up to the kiddos for my epic failure, but something else I’m working on is a way to 1) not let that happen again and 2) not let the nasty names I’m calling myself take root.
Do you have some pretty negative things to say about yourself?
I mean, I’m totally guilty of 1) calling myself an idiot. 2) questioning every little freaking thing I do!! and 3) yelling –in my mind at least– at myself to hurry up, quit screwing up, quit losing this or even yelling at myself for my inability to organize my desk!
It’s a vicious cycle.
And I’m supposed to be a leader in a community of amazing women, trying to encourage them (you!) to practice grace and mercy towards yourself. To embody that ahimsa attitude towards yourself first, so that you can practice it to the world around you…yet here I am failing miserably.
What do you do when this cycle is on high?
My current strategies for neutralizing the negative voice inside my head.
1) stop everything and breath for 1 minute (ok, it may be like 5 breaths, but the GOAL is a minute).
2) ask myself am I really xyz name? Usually, the answer is no.
3) in the event the answer is yes (ie I’m terribly disorganized) I have to ask myself, is this situation worth THIS much energy? If energy can neither be created nor destroyed, should I spend so much of it on something that has no value/is not creating anything valueable? If the answer is no, that usually calms me down.
(i’m still working on creating the space to get better at organizational skills. Until then, don’t look in my car.)
What do you do when the negative thoughts come in? what are some of your strategies?
Share them with me! Maybe we can create a Thrive positive affirmations meditation or booklet, or sticker… something to remind you and me both that we are beautifully and wonderfully flawed humans doing our very best to make the world a little bit better one day at a time.
I can’t wait to hear from you!